Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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