So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
