My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
