it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
