I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
