I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
