Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
