yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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