You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
