If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
