announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
