The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
