I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
