My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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