the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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