My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
