You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
