oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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