I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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