What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
