Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
