i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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