How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
