So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
