Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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