I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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