I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
