i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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