I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
