Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
