The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I need a beard to bite.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
