Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
