captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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