We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
