dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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