I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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