he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
