My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
