The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
