everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have fence marks all over my body
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
