filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
