I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
