i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You need a sexual gate keeper
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Randomize
