new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
