the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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