Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
