I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
