I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
