So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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