we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
nutella sex= disaster
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
